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This summer,
it was truly hard to watch the life changes in my neighbor
Ginny.
The last year had certainly been rough on her. Her activity
level would surge, then wane almost to the point of comatose.
One day she would be busy, moving through the house at a determined
pace, the next day would find her flat on whatever surface
was nearest and padded.
Only in her late thirties, her shoulder-length hair had to
be cut to more manageable levels, while silver crept into
the hairline like the summer ocean fog slipping through our
valley.
Her once neatly smoothed T-shirts that were her almost daily
attire, now had the appearance of being pulled from the dryer
and over the head. Shorts or sweat pants had replaced slacks
or jeans.
The lines around her face had increased from butterfly traces
to furrows left by pain and exhaustion. Ginny's entire body
reflected long-lost sleep, the result of being up until mockingbird
hours, with nights disrupted continuously by the cries she
cannot contain.
The doctor said he couldn't do much for Ginny. "Just part
of growing older, you have to accustom yourself to living
in a different lifestyle now. Try to sleep when you can, get
out of the house once in a while. Change your lifestyle and
don't worry about the dust bunnies under the bed. Just relax,
this won't kill you, you know. It just makes you feel like
you are dead, some days. Take some aspirins and get some rest
as you can!!" Big help he was!!
Back pain, knee aches, the stabbing shock in the right shoulder
that had appeared this spring, the difficulty she had in picking
up the laundry basket, all were foreboding. Every conversation
we had on the phone was punctuated by interruptions, the phone
would go dead with only a brief mutter from her end, and I
would hear her race down the hall once again.
Jack, Ginny's husband, was patient. But even he noticed the
dramatic changes. He tried to help, to do more of the housework,
tried to rock away the middle of the night discomforts, but
with frustration, finally stopped and kept more to himself,
working more and more on the house they are building together,
or were...
Her daughter RoseAnna, only 18, understandably was resentful
of all the changes in the household. But, feeling responsible
and trying to be mature, she would pitch in with the evening
dishes, stop for groceries, bring the laundry in from the
garage and fold it. It even ended up in the proper drawers
for a change. RoseAnna changed her activities dramatically,
staying home after work, watching her friends head for the
beach and the local teen hangouts. I am sure she had a huge
ache in her heart for what was lost, never to return, her
own childhood.
You see, my dear friends, there was a new resident in the
household this spring. Alexis came home in a lovely pink blanket,
cuddled in RoseAnna's arms. And Ginny had become a full-time
grandmother, the day care while RoseAnna slept, and the night
care while RoseAnna worked.
With all the disruptions to the family that a smiling, screaming,
demanding and lovable granddaughter can bring, yes, Ginny
was certainly showing every symptom of "sudden onset grandparenting!"
And the joy radiates from her face daily, even with the knowledge
that she has forever changed, and there's no going back to
her unfettered lifestyle.... now that she is a "Granny"!
In this case, the changes weren't due to FMS, but Alexis,
the apple of everyone's eye, and spoiled to the core.
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